Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings. "
"An old friend will help you move. A good friend will help you move a dead body."
"Friends: people who borrow my books and set wet glasses on them."
Other Funny Quotes;
"When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car."
"You laugh because I'm different...........
I laugh 'cause I just farted!"
"What you call dog with no legs?
Don't matter what you call him, he ain't gonna come."
"Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss."
"Las